Mother-in-law leaks 21-year-old daughter-in-law’s secret pregnancy news, ignoring clear instructions, forcing pregnant young woman to call her out and lay down boundaries: ‘we specified that we didn’t want family telling anyone until we were ready’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Mar 11, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

Nothing ignites family drama quite like good news you're not ready to share yet—especially if that good news involves creating an entirely new human being. For some baffling reason, saying, "Don't tell anyone," is universally interpreted by relatives as, "Do tell everyone, immediately, but pretend you're not supposed to." Add into the mix a meddling in-law who's allergic to boundaries, a dash of betrayal, some passive-aggressive victimhood, and you've got the perfect recipe for familial chaos—served fresh with a side of regret. Not the most surprising thing I've heard today, to be honest.

Families have been fumbling delicate secrets since secrets were invented. Weddings, funerals, pregnancies—the juicier the news, the faster it makes the rounds, whispered enthusiastically by people who'll later swear they're "great at keeping secrets." Ask relatives to hold off spreading gossip, and they'll look you straight in the eye while mentally composing group texts to their yoga pals and bridge clubs.

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  • Pregnancy announcements are less about sharing your joy and more about carefully managing the inevitable act of overly enthusiastic relatives. There’s no graceful exit from drama like this—just buckle up, brace yourself, and prepare for nine months of unsolicited advice, thinly veiled judgment, and boundary-testing in-laws. Followed by more or less 18-21 more years of the same. (Consequences of being relatives and duration of effects may vary. Mostly lasting a lifetime.)

  • "AITH - Mother in law ignored our requests and I put my foot down."

    "I hope you don't mind but I told Amanda about your pregnancy. She was very happy. Phew."
    via Wavebreakmedia

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Hi, I'm F (21) and my partner is M (21). We found out we're pregnant when we were 3 weeks pregnant. We opted to keep it from family for a few weeks while we got our excitement out of the way and then told immediate family at 5wks. My partner and I have been together for 6 years, high school sweethearts and have always mentioned having kids early.
    via babushka39472
  • When telling my mother in law (partners mother) we specified that we didn't want family telling anyone until we were ready to announce at 13wks after getting the all clear from doctors following testing.
    via babushka39472
  • Fast forward a few weeks and I get a message from my mother in law saying "I hope you don't mind but I told so and so (let's call her Amanda) about your pregnancy. She was very happy. Phew."
    via babushka39472
  • Amanda has never liked me, none of my partners family can understand why, my mother in law has once defended me to Amanda so her telling her such news felt like a big stab in the back.
    via babushka39472
  • I responded back to my mother in law stating I did mind that she told someone and the person she told didn't deserve to know in the first place. We specified we didn't want anyone else knowing until we publicly announced and she turned around and couldn't keep her mouth shut for the 7 weeks.
    via babushka39472
  • Cheezburger Image 10478301440
    via philm1310

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Amanda treated my partner badly when he was going up, stole his bike off him if he rode it without a helmet and would lock it away, forced him to learn the story of Mary and Joseph before he could
    via babushka39472
  • open his Christmas presents, refuses to gift him anything for his birthday but will go out of her way to spoil his sisters. She has never tried to have a conversation with me in the past 6 years of my
    via babushka39472
  • partner and I being together and I've never been ride, I'm a very outspoken and stubborn person but I am always civil and kind to people before they do me wrong.
    via babushka39472
  • My mother in law has played the victim after this whole situation occurred. Going to my partners sisters and saying I am angry with her and that she told someone about our pregnancy.
    via babushka39472
  • I tried to be respectful when telling her I wasn't happy, I always avoid offending someone and don't want my partner to lose the connection he has with his
    via babushka39472
  • Cheezburger Image 10478302464
    via My photos for your work and joy!

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • parents because of my response so I approached her with respect, which she obviously didn't have for me when telling Amanda about our pregnancy.
    via babushka39472
  • We had to go out of our way to organise a dinner with my partners parents after they iced us out for a couple of weeks and they wanted to act like nothing was wrong the entire dinner. I finally approached the subject
    via babushka39472
  • and stated that I was still unhappy and I was only expecting an apology and for her to take accountability for her mistake. Instead she sat there and cried and didn't once apologise to me.
    via babushka39472
  • Every time she tried to apologise over message an excuse would follow along the lines of "I was just so excited or I was trying to soften the blow with Amanda, you know how she can be." She
    via babushka39472
  • also stated that if she didn't tell Amanda that she would get in trouble by Amanda when we announced it because "she wasn't told about it first."
    via babushka39472
  • I'm just wanting non family/friend insight to this whole situation. All of my family and friends are stating that I have a right to be angry and my reaction was
    via babushka39472
  • warranted but I have a gut feeling my partner and his family is angry with me and thinks I blew it out of proportion. So AITH or is She?
    via babushka39472
  • ***Edit to add - Amanda is Aunty to MIL, so Great aunty to Partner. Thank you all for your replies, it's definitely helped me understand I'm NTA in this situation. I am also grateful for all the advice I have received too. Definitely taking a lot of it into consideration and will probably put into action. ***
    via babushka39472
  • Decent-Muffin4190 NTA. Amanda sounds like a piece of work, and your MIL is pandering to her. Who is this woman that she has such a hold over this family? MIL needs to grow a spine and ditch this toxic person from her life. She's choosing Amanda over her family. What is the relationship exactly, and why is everyone so scared of her?
    via Decent-Muffin4190
  • Significant_Buy_89 NTA I'm sorry but your MIL sounds like a grown toddler........ this is something my daughter would have done when she was 2 and didn't get her way... You clearly stated to everyone you told that you didn't want anyone else to know just yet. You have your reasons. Also if your partner is mad at you for this then they need to decide where their priorities lie.......
    via Significant_Buy_89
  • arodomus NTA. This was not hers to share, especially with an ah le you guys don't like. Period.
    via arodomus
  • Regular Giraffe7022 NTA, but I wouldn't tell MIL anything you don't want told to Amanda in future. She has shown you she can't be trusted to keep things to herself.
    via Regular_Giraffe7022
  • FriendlyMum NTA and realise she is trying to set a precedent here. Realise you hold the cards and the baby. If she doesn't pull her head in she won't get access to the baby. Simple.
    via FriendlyMum

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family drama inheritance aita AITAH brother mother tradition siblings family feud favoritism wedding aunt in laws mother in law sister fiancé grandmother Father
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